I am the wife of an incredible man! He brings me the greatest happiness! I am the blessed mother of a darling little delight! She brings me the greatest joy. A gift, beyond words! An answer to prayer, long coming for sure, but arriving just on time! The very well-known words of Hannah's, "For this child I prayed," is echoed loudly in my own heart of hearts and I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I am overwhelmed at the Giver.
I remember the night God came to me. I remember which side of the bed I was lying on. I remember the way He captured my attention. I remember my thoughts as if it was yesterday. I remember the request. I remember the tears. He had me, yes, but He wanted more of me! And oh, I wrestled with the Lord, it would seem, for so many years! I had to learn the balance of offering up my earnest desire (for a husband and children) as a sacrifice to be burnt up completely, if He so pleased, and that of grabbing hold with firm grasp and loudly saying "I will not let go, except thou bless me" (Genesis 32:26). One side sounds so resigned...the other so forceful! One action can be racked with discouragement, the other with arrogance. Does God really want to bless me? Will I really receive greater gifts if I choose to give it all up? If you have wrestled the Lord like that over any issue, you know exactly what I am talking about! I had to learn to let go of my desire and cling to the One who gave me that desire in the first place! He taught me, so beautifully, through the miraculous story of Sarah's barren womb bringing forth fruit in it's old age (through which would come Messiah) that when He places a desire deep in a heart—it is planted even deeper in His own! He desires it more!
And so I prayed and sacrificed and clung firmly to the "Giver of all good gifts" when the answer was delayed. And I wondered how long I would wait. God doesn't send angelic messengers like he did in the Scriptures...they don't show up for lunch and say "it's gonna happen in...let's see...exactly 12 months from today!" But He does send us messengers of hope...through His people and through His Word! They may not have the answer we are looking for (the exact one we are dying for), but they do have the ability to encourage and remind us that God will speak, one day! He will answer! The morning will come.
It came for me, I was sure of it, early one January...right to my doorstep. The "breaking of the day" and the one God had planned all along to be my man! It wasn't realized, though, for another 2 years (2 hard years)—as if God himself touched "the hollow of [my] thigh" putting it out of place in order to remind me that He does everything with purpose. He allows hard things that are out of our control to teach us to depend on Him in even greater ways. Marks of ownership, you might call them. I had learned to trust my God in big ways while single—my journey of trust had started 20 years before—and yes, I did remind Him of that fact ("Lord, why now...after all these years...why can't you just give it to me in a sweet and neat package...why does it have to hurt?")—and the Lord's response..."will you trust Me again?" He wanted me to be content (as He worked), to accept the road I must take to receive this good gift—this gift that was coming directly from His hand. He chose me for this exact gift!
As I look up from this computer desk I see a picture of two people very much in love (one of them is my husband—smile) and to the left of my desk I hear sweet lullabies quietly coming through a baby monitor! I am married! And our little delight is fast asleep! And joy, we have another one on the way!
God loves to give His own children good gifts. In fact, Scripture tells us that THAT is all He gives! "How much more shall your Father" (Matthew 7:11)! "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above" (James 1:17). I love the phrase "how much more" and the word "every"! There is no getting away from the truth. God loves to shower us with the desires of our hearts! Every desire, according to His will. He really does. Don't demand your gift too early. Ask for it, yes...but trust His timing. It is perfect (just like His gift!). He does all things amazing!
God has only ever shown Himself strong and consoling on my behalf! Through hard and thorny ways (when the path is actually pitch black), and through times of uncertainty, He has proven to be Protector, Provider, Comforter, Healer, Friend, Miracle Worker...Giver!
Giver of every good gift!
